Thursday, July 23, 2009

So This Is Retirement

Of all my mother's children, I like me the best. I'm one of four gems, stuck in the middle of a family that has lost some of its luster over the years. That is, we've gotten older and Mom, once an independent, single parent has also grown old. In a few months, she'll finally be able to retire.And while her co-workers will celebrate her retirement for the triumphant milestone that it is, we her children will sigh and wonder what she'll do now to stay busy. Which translates to: "How is this going to impact my life?"Pretty selfish when you think of all that she gave. Because in addition to being a Mom; she was also a Dad. Our father, her husband, went away a long time ago on a short road and left us with a long painful memory. She gave us life and allowed us our childhoods. And now, at 74 years old, Mom is retiring. Society is effectively putting her out to pasture and we, her children quietly watch from the sidelines. Secretly we'll pray-- "Please, God don't call us out onto that field to help."But how nifty the human mind is! As I sit and remember what once was, Mom is forgetting what is. Our minds are like bowls of water. With good memories floating on top of the surface and bad memories settled further down, at the bottom like heavy sediment. It seems to me, if I could just remember how my sisters and brother use to be, I'd have little trouble accepting them now, as adults.And then, I could just make sugar coated excuses to my mother. Excuses for why her children don't come around, now that she's retired. And as sure as the sky is blue, she'll forget what I said. So, I'll repeat the excuses, over and over again. Until at last, the lie almost seems like the truth. Even to me...I love my mother and out of all her children, I like me the best.

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